Archive for the funny Category

Street Signs of Taipa

Posted in funny, Travel Asia with tags , , , , , , , on October 21, 2013 by Yarn Over New York

While visiting Macau with my boyfriend, Jason, we played a game of translating the street signs.  As Macau has two official languages, Portuguese and Cantonese, all the street names are displayed in both languages.  I was curious to see how many of the names actually match up when translated.  Here are a few interesting discoveries (Cantonese translated by Jason, Portuguese translated by me).

Direct Translations

Many of the street names are actually the same when translated.

Middle Street

Black Bridge Street

(Although, as far as I can tell, there’s no bridge on the street, black or otherwise)

Ant Alley

Names of Places or People

Some of the streets are name after famous Portuguese places and people; some are named for famous places or people in China.  Most of the time, these names are written to sound the same in the other language.

Cheok Family Village (Ka means family in Cantonese)- named for a local family clan

Cunha Street

Cunha (pronounced coon-ya) is a common Portuguese surname.  The Cantonese name of this street is pronounced goon-ya gai.  It’s clear that the naming authorities used chinese characters to create a name as close as possible to Cunha.  (The Cantonese word “gai” means street and “rua” means street in Portuguese.)

Foshan Street

Foshan is a city in the Guangdong province of China (closest province to Macau).  The literal translation of the Chinese characters is “Buddha Mountain.” I guess when the Portuguese tried to write this name “Fat San” was the closest they could get.

Somewhat Similar but Not Exactly

A few of the translations we came across proved interesting.

Merchant Street

Mercador is merchant in Portguese but the Cantonese translation is where things get fun.  The first character is “mai” (pronounced with rising tone) which means “buying” and the second “mai” (pronounced with a falling tone) means “selling.”  So the meaning is essentially the same, but it’s not quite a direct translation.

Garden Walk

“Horta” means “garden” and “caminho” means “walk” in Portuguese.  We gain a little bit more information when reading the Chinese, as the first 2 characters translate to “vegetable garden.”

Street of the Well Married

Perhaps one of my favorite street names.  Like Merchant Street, the overall meaning is the same, but when taken individually, the Chinese characters tell a great story.  “Lin lei” refers to two trees that grow closely with one another and their branches become entwined.  This image is often used to symbolize to the love between a husband and wife as they grow old together.

Totally Different 

Some of the most fun we had while translating was the find the street names that have little or no connection to their counterparts.

???

The first sign in this photo is “Sport Street” in Portuguese and “Body Sport Street” in Chinese, no big difference there. However, the sign on the right is another story all together.  The Cantonese name “dei bo” means “bunker” but the Portuguese word “regedor” means “alderman.”

Well, both languages agree that it’s bird…

In Portuguese “gaivota” is a seagull and in Cantonese “shui ap” is a mallard.  So, both are birds and both live near water, but they are definitely not the same bird.

Is she a sinner or a saint?

This street name is my hands-down favorite.  The Portuguese translation is “Witches’ Lane,” which I love because: A- witches are cool and B- where else would you find a street named “Witches’ Lane”?  The Cantonese translation “sin loi gong” means “Saint Lady Lane.”  So which (witch?) kind of lady is she?

One Last Funny 

There are many many more street names out there, obviously.  I didn’t even cross over the Macau or Coloane, so perhaps more exploration is in order.   I will leave you with another favorite of mine.

Good View Alley

The translation isn’t the interesting aspect of this alley.  Both Portuguese and Cantonese translate to “good view alley.”  It’s also not a unique name, variations can be found all over the world.  Buena Vista and Buona Vista are common names for streets and towns, usually named for their scenic outlooks.

However

See more street signs here.

Good-bye Old Friend

Posted in funny, Life in Singapore with tags , , , , , , , on September 7, 2013 by Yarn Over New York

It was love at first sight.  I was on the escalator in Plaza Singapura and, out of the corner of my eye, I saw shiny blobs of molten wax taunting me with their awesomeness.  All my life I dreamed of owning a lava lamp. I quickly made  my way back up one flight of stairs to the shop and requested an orange lava lamp.  The only orange one left was the display model.  I didn’t care, I wanted it so badly.  It had to be mine.

Please enjoy both the visual amazingness and the truly awesome audio in the background.

For over a year, we lived together happily.  Every night I would bask in the warm amber glow and enjoy the beautiful shapes it made for me.  We had good times.

It helped me host my 33 birthday party. (You can see it in the reflection next to the blue lamp)

It helped me host my house-warming party when I moved last year. See how it makes the food table so inviting.

We also had some not-so-good times.

There was the time its coil got stuck out of place. It was scary, luckily all was well in the end.

Then things started to get rough.  The light bulbs would spontaneously burn out.  Often.

The lamp told me what it needed.

I provided.

Still, things weren’t right.  Often the bulb would blow after just one use.  I tried different plugs.  I tried using a dimmer.  I did research online.  Soon, it stopped working entirely.  I took it apart and tried to fix the wiring.

Nothing worked.  My lava lamp died.  The end.

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I will miss you.

Outrage of Modesty

Posted in funny, Life in Singapore, Outrage of Modesty with tags , , , , , , , , , , on December 13, 2012 by Yarn Over New York

Last year,  I wrote a post about the laws here in Singapore, including the infamous Outrage of Modesty.  (link here to the Singapore government’s website with a full description of the crime, its potential prevention and punishments)

Here is a warning that I saw the following sign on the subway train.

Truly Truly Truly Outrageous
Follow These Instructions and Nothing Bad Will Happen

 

Hello Kitty Airlines

Posted in funny, Travel Asia with tags , , , , , , , on May 5, 2012 by Yarn Over New York

Let me start off by saying that I LOVE living in Asia. Many Asian countries seem to have a true passion for things that are cute and made of plastic. The universal favorite character of all things cute is, of course, Hello Kitty.

In Macau- a fully Hello Kitty decorated car

In Thailand- a store with nothing but Hello Kitty- and every last item individually wrapped in plastic!

In Taiwan- dessert at the Hello Kitty Cafe

I have now just learned of the ULTIMATE Hello Kitty adventure. The Taiwanese airline EVA has created Hello Kitty airlines. It has its own check-in, three airplanes and flights between the most common capitals of cute plastic goodness. Headrests, pillows, boarding passes and even meals are all HELLO KITTY!!!

Welcome Aboard

I don’t know about you, but I NEED to do this. I’m thinking of the Taipei-Tokyo route!

I’m ready to go with my Hello Kitty helmet

My Delhi Souvenir – A Survey of World Mecidine

Posted in Asian Winter Odyssey 2010-11, funny, Travel Asia with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 17, 2011 by Yarn Over New York

New Delhi, India- 26 November 2010 

Bright and early on 26 November, I awoke for my first full day in Delhi.  On my way to get breakfast, I got bitten by a dog on the street. The bite itself was not too bad. One cut about 2cm long and a few smaller scrapes and bruises.

However, this is India and India is not quite the cleanest place or known for having particularly clean street animals. Therefore, I spent my morning at the hospital. Which itself was not particularly clean. In fact when I asked for some soap to wash the wound, this was a bit puzzling to the doctor and nurses.

Luckily, the hospital has its own dog bite ward and all 4 of the shots I had to get came from pre-wrapped needles that I watched them dispose of after using them on me. Oddly enough the shots hurt more than the dog bite and were in the following parts of my body: forearm, wound site (calf), upper arm and (of course) my behind.

I have to go back in 3 days and get another round of shots. And then must find places throughout my remaining travels to get more shots once a week until Christmas. Most excellent.

The part that makes me most mad (more mad than having to sit on the floor waiting in line while bleeding even) is that I am pretty sure it was part of a scam. (not the hospital but the bite)

I was walking along minding my own business when a dog ran up and bit my calf. When I screamed and then stopped to examine my wound, a man came up to me offering to help. Magically I was right in front of a little pharmacy stall. He said he was a doctor and offered to give me rabies shots right then and there. Of course, I refused and went to a hospital because even if it wasn’t a scam, I am not getting shots from a pharmacy on wheels.

Maybe I’m jaded and have lost my faith in humanity that I would assume this is a scam. But it just seems too perfect that a dog would randomly run up to me and bite me just enough to break the skin but not actually cause major injury and that less than 3 feet away is a “doctor” ready to sell me rabies shots on the street.

Anyway, day one of site-seeing in Delhi ruined. And I didn’t even get my morning cup of coffee until the whole debacle was over at 3:00!

A Retrospective

As I continued my travels and rabies treatments, I ended up at a variety of hospitals.

Delhi, India- special ward just for rabies shots. Did not triage or clean my wound only gave me shots. No computers.  When I asked for soap to clean my wound, this was met with confusion  Wait time about 4 to 5 hours. Crowded dirty lobby no seating. Very sick people laying on the floor. Cost Free.

Krabi, Thailand- general ER/Out Patient ward. Nice helpful staff. Chairs. Paperwork computerized. Waiting room is open air (luckily its quite warm) took my temp, weight and bp. Almost gave me the wrong meds until the nurse noticed and made me go back to get the right meds.  Wait time 3 hours. Cost 17 dollars.

Taipei, Taiwan- General Out Patient ward. Clean efficient. Take a number and wait for it to be called. Easy. Took my vitals, discussed my previous and ongoing treatment  examined the wound site (first place to do so) asked about my medical history. Put a bandage on the injection site.   Wait time 1 hour. Cost 75 dollars.

Columbia, USA (Christmas Eve!)- ER at the hospital where my mother works.  Clean.  Lengthy wait, paperwork intensive.  Could not pay by cash or credit card onsite, needed to wait several weeks for the bill to be mailed.  I did get a private room and my mom waited with me.  Wait time 2.5 hours.  Cost 400 dollars.

All told, this has been a true learning experience. I wish I could have taken photos in all these places.

My advice- don’t get bitten by a dog, but if you do, go to Taiwan for treatment!

You’re Messin’ with My Zen Thing

Posted in Asian Winter Odyssey - Bonus Leg, funny, Travel Asia with tags , , , , , , on April 17, 2011 by Yarn Over New York

Sometimes travel can wear you down, make you crazy, get your panties in a bundle.  Flying is a hassle, everything surrounding the mere act of sitting on a plane while it flies through the air is a hassle. And usually the coffee is crap.

Earlier this week, I flew from Pontianak, Indonesia to Hong Kong via Jakarta.  My flight was scheduled for 6am, so I took a taxi to the airport and arrived a mere 1.5 hours before my scheduled departure time.  The airport was closed. Doors locked, lights off – closed.  A nice security guard informed me that the airport would open at 6am.  So I sat outside and waited as more passengers arrived.  I drew a crowd of onlookers (being the pale face tattooed chick I am.) (At least I got some knitting done.)

Sure enough the flight was delayed, they forgot my vegetarian meal and I came up 15000 rupiah short for my airport tax.  (15000 rupiah = $1.75)  Etc, etc.

All of these factors combined to make me one grumpy traveler until I remembered the joy of international air travel – free in-flight booze.  I figure with a stick of celery, a Bloody Mary is practically a meal anyway.  (A vegetarian meal.)  So I had 3 . . .

Funny Videos for When You Don’t Feel Totally Fun

Posted in funny with tags , , , , , , , , on March 10, 2011 by Yarn Over New York

The Dickhead Song

Ok, this one isn’t funny, but it is the trailer for a movie my friend made.

Another funny one- Fortune Cookies In China